How to completely satisfy yourself.

Advanced Masturbation Tips

Tera Patrick at your Service

Tera Patrick is still finding a way to make men masturbate to her sexiness even though she officially retired from the adult industry several years ago. Can you guess the exciting new way Tera is making men have amazing orgasms? No, it’s not from watching one of her hundreds of steamy adult videos which she shot over her career. No, it’s not from using one of the Tera Patrick sex toys including the well-known Tera Patrick Fleshlight sex toy.

Tera is now offering hot phone sex through the platform. is the simple one page website featuring an icon which displays Tera’s phone sex availability and a Twitter icon to click to check when she tweets her upcoming schedule. So, if you’re on Twitter, subscribing to her Twitter feed is the easy way to know when Tera is available to enhance your masturbation fantasies. Also on Tera Patrick’s Twitter, Tera posts sexy self shot photos of herself which you can’t find anywhere else online. She also promotes more private photos available only on her eponymous website.

Tera Patrick has probably made more men have incredible orgasms than any other adult film star. Being able to interact with Tera live is a fantasy that can now become a reality. All you have to do is pick up the phone to call her when she’s available. Tera charges just over $8.00 per minute for live chat and according to anyone who has spoken to her, it’s been a blast, pun intended! Tera is a sexy MILF who likes keeping active in the adult industry by making appearances at various events and doing live interviews. Outside of the adult industry, Tera even picks up occasional mainstream acting gigs. Tera does live phonesex from her own home and as a business-minded adult celeb, she knows this will keep her in touch with her devoted fans as well as make her devotees have mind-blowing masturbation sessions.

Many men use phone sex and sex toys to enhance their masturbation experience. Phone sex isn’t just the purview of the stereotypical phone sex operator anymore. Welcome to the new phone sex and a great way to masturbate to your favorite adult film star or nude erotica model. Other adult industry celebrities and models now entering the phone sex biz include Bree Olsen, Tegan Summers, Bobbi Eden, Vicky Vette, Puma Swede, Rubber Doll, Alexis Ford and more.

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Alternate Ways to Masturbate

Most guys just use their hand to whack off. A few more use lube or at least  do it in the shower to get the slippery action going. Today we’ll explore a few household objects and some that can be purchased at sex shops and such to make masturbating better.

1.) Masturbation sleeve
The best for a guy who thinks using a pocket pussy is funny or stupid. Although these naive guys are ignorant, a pocket pussy user will tell how how great it feels and the visual part is actually appealing. Put your ignorance aside and try a masturbation sleeve sometimes, they can be found cheap like 8 bucks. Essentially a thins silicone tube often with ticklers or ribbed interior tunnel for some moire sensation. Stay away from a thicker one however as it will typically fly off the tip of your Dick at a thousand miles a minute.

2.) Penis Pump
Traditionally used only for men with erectile dysfunction, these guys quickly realized that the pleasure from the pressure feels good enough to masturbate with. Word spreads like wildfire and before you know it guys were picking up their credit cards and plugging it in online to order one of these unconventional pleasure pumps. Click to visit this penis pump website for the models which are cheaper, for masturbation purposes you really only need the model in the 20 dollar range.

3.) Fruit
It feels sort of silly suggesting it, but pies and fruits is actually a viable method. often saved for men on welfare who don;t want to use their hand all the time. A really soft a watermelons can offer you full penetration down to the hilt. The most important suggestion? warm it up first. You may or may not enjoy the use of lube with it too, but it needs to be warmed otherwise you’ll get tiny balls on impact.
Banana peels are nature’s masturbation sleeve. The lining swill smell nice and won’t dissolve as you stroke.

Things to avoid:
Stay clear of bottles with openings, your thrusting will create a vacuum which will inhibit your ability to pull out of the bottle resulting in an embarrassing issue, a panicking state of emotional well begin and it just won’t be fun. If you wan tot use as bottle or something similar make sure the end is cut open so the air won’t create a vacuum hence the use of a penis pump, pull your thumb off the opening to make the air release.

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Against Masturbation?

If you’ve been watching Jay Leno there’s no doubt you’ve heard of the Republican Party nominee in Delaware’s 2010 U.S. Senate election, Christine O’Donnell is against masturbation. You’d think that she would be wise enough to hold this statement until AFTER the election because everyone masturbate. unless maybe Southern baptists and certain Christians may not. The older Christians probably don’t because they say that masturbation is a self-centered activity and not a God-centered activity. If you think I’m being fake and blowing smoke, then feast your eyes on this article from the sperm bank says how beneficial it is to masturbate. Science rules!

For some reason, this is a taboo topic, even though there are no disadvantages of masturbating. They say that it;s a self centered activity but really, what isn’t? Eating caviar is a self centered activity, so is eating hamburgers, especially fast food. There is nothing good about eating McDonalds but yet that’s OK from the eyes of these religious figures? How about smoking? Is that spoken out against for this reason? I think not.

As if you don’t need any more support for masturbation, here are a few pro masturbating reasons, maybe I’ll send Ms. O Donnell an email:

1.) It feels good.
So does riding a motorcycle, going on a roller coaster and taking a bubble bath.

2.) It’s natural.
If God didn’t intend for us to masturbate then he wouldn’t have made the penis and clitoris so easy to touch, it’s right there in reach. He made to too easy so therefore it’s OK.

3.) It tides you over until sex.
Sex feels good but if you don’t have a partner on hand, then you can satisfy yourself. It can also prevent STD’s when you don’t need to seek a sex partner, you can pleasure yourself. What’s wrong with that?

4.) The surge if hormones from an orgasm is a good thing.
It flushes out the body, the hormone surge is beneficial for pretty much every physiological aspect of the body. It’s a system cleanse and you’ll get all clogged up if you don’t do it.

5.) It helps your sperm count.
If you’ve ever read anything about trying to conceive you’ll see that the more you ejaculate, the higher your sperm count is. masturbate and the little guys will reproduce quicker.

I wouldn’t vote for anyone who speaks out publicly against masturbation, that tells me that you’re completely out of touch with reality and there’s no way I would ever give you power to rule the country. What kinds of out of the way old fashioned old wives tales things would you hold true and what would you do to my country? God help me I don’t want to know.

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Can you Handle Playboy College Girls?

The cream of the crop for men is the Playboy models. They are so popular, so tasteful that they are mainstream. Sometimes a guy has to leave the raunchy porn stars behind and pick up something a little more classy. Masturbate away all day to the Playboy College Girls. Not only are they selected as the best of the best but they are talented and more beautiful then anywhere else ans they usually like nipple clamps too.

There’s no mascara running here, juts classy gals stripping nude. Part of the appeal of the Playboy girl is that she is almost a taboo, she is too pretty to be nude, usually lonely or ugly girls strip at dance clubs to make money and get attention because they can’t get any in real life so they have to resort to taking off their clothes – not that it’s ab bad thing but sometimes a little class goes a long way.

These girls are so hot that they don’t need to take off anything. They can prance around in their booty shorts and a tank top and it’s almost as arousing as an uglier girl naked. Funny how the male brain works!

When you see these women, it’s a big treat because they’ve already got it made, they are as hot as can be and eager too they are so proud to call themselves a Playboy model, it’s held in high regards. To be known as a stripper is pretty raunchy and most women keep that secret from people but if you’ve been selected to be a college girl Playboy model, it’s so big that you could even put that on your resume and a potential employer would look at it as a benefit, Consider yourselves lucky to be able to see these girls nude. Enjoy the best college girls this country has to offer as they have been selected to be good enough to feature in Playboy.

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Funny Masturbating Names

Masturbation has really funny and sometimes very creative names. Usually the act of masturbation is named to lights the act. It’s still a taboo subject, but not nearly as much as previous generations. Women have the pretty red G spot flower vibrator. Once it was thought that it grows hair on the hands of your pals. Of course no one has ever experienced this and it was mainly a scare tactic because younger boys were masturbating too much and couldn’t get anything done at school. Nowadays there are funny names given to masturbating and here are some of the names for some good masturbation humor:

Making pudding Whipping up some baby batter Cleaning the snorkel
Polishing the beak Calling down for more mayo Extracting a core sample
Salting your nuts in the shell Putting miles on your monkey Five against one
Five digit disco Pickle dancing Squeezing the burrito
Crowning the King Worshiping the fist prince Milking the weasel
Pounding the pepperoni One-armed skiing Cranking the love pump
Freeing Willy Flogging the dolphin Pumping the gas
Jerkin’ the gherkin Sex with someone you really love Slapping the happy sacks
Taunting the one-eyed weasel Twisting your tool Wrestling with Jimmy
Yanking the doodle Hitchhiking to heaven Doodling your noodle
Caping the crusader Clubbing the baby seal Going for the gold
Getting a grip on things Devil’s Handshake Climbin’ the tree
Clobbering the Kleenex Beating Bob and the twins Bashing the Bishop
Assault on a friendly weapon Getting to know yourself Greasing the flagpole
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Masturbate to This

One of the best masturbation tips ever is to have some good material to masturbate it to. I don’t need to convince anyone of this. Men and women can both get off from porno. Men think that they are going to have sex with the woman and woman think that they are like the lady in the movie. It makes us sexually aroused in very different ways but the point of the matter is that when you masturbate to porno, it makes it way better, much faster and more satisfying. Eye candy goes a long way. The suggestion for the day is big over the top boobies. It’s just plain fun. You can see clits any day, tits any day, even asses are everywhere. But those big balloon titties are less common. It’s just something different to try so click on that banner and watch the balloon boobies fly and masturbate away to your perfect bliss.

The best is online porn. There is no going to a adult store, there is no leaving your house. You have no late fees, it’s cheap and with the large variety of porn out there, you don’t want to keep and re-watch it anyway. You’ll want to see it once and then go to another site. The variety of clips per porn site is usually way more then you’d get on a single DVD anyway so download porn online.

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Left Handed Myth

There’s an ongoing joke for guys that if you use your left hand then it feels like someone else is masturbating you. You can imagine it’s your girlfriend or some super model.

There is allot of truth behind this, it’s a myth dispelled. The truth is that when you use your non-dominant hand (ie if you write with your right hand then use your left hand) then you can have a different feel while masturbating. Your right hand (assuming you write with that hand) is the mist dexterous, this means that you have the most precision and control with this hand.

When you masturbate, it feels good and you can cum quickly because you do exactly what you need to make your lizard spit it’s juice. When you use your left hand, it’s a little flopper because you have less dexterity and control over this hand. It won’t feel as precise but you can enjoy a sexual fantasy when you imagine that someone else is giving you a hand job. You can use your other hand to pull anal beads.

Left handed masturbation is a good technique if you have a creative mind and a vivid imagination, then you can really immerse yourself into a fantasy, but if your mind is not the creative then stick with the right hand and just get yourself off and continue along with your day.

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Never get caught in the shower.

There are so many funny movie scenes when a parent or girlfriend walks into the bedroom to find the guy masturbation. It’s always a comic scene of panic and disheveled fear. Sometimes there’s a sock involved, sometimes things go really wrong, like in the movie Sex Drive. That has the best getting caught masturbating story I’ve ever seen!

The guy is jerking off in his bed when his brother barges in. Followed by more family members. Then his dad has a big announcement that him and his girlfriend are getting married, which means that the lady will be the kid’s new step mom. The dad says “come here and give your new mom a hug” and then the mom knows what’s going on under the sheets so she says that he should stay put, it’s ok, you con congratulate us later. Of course the bigger brother is a dick so he says “no stand up and get over here and give your dad and new mom hug” and he tries to pull of the blankets and of course everything goes wrong, the kid is totally humiliated and in the end, the used condom ends up flying on the moms head (see in the picture below) it’s a screen shot from the movie.

Is that realistic? Sort of, it’s a little far fetched because it’s from one of the funniest movies of all time about sexuality and young adults, but it could happen to you. There could be a time when your parent or sibling or wife or girlfriend walks into the room when you are pleasuring yourself. How embarrassing that be? In fact many people have that fear in the back of their head so masturbation is not as enjoyable.

When there is big stress over getting caught looming overhead, it makes for a tense moment and you can feel fully satisfied. It’s not like risque sex. When you have sex in a location where you could get caught, there is a certain sense of excitement and danger. Mainly because you have someone with you sharing in the same emotions but when you;re all alone, there is no one to partner with to share the fear, and you end up feeling stupid and alone.

Don’t risk that, have sex in risque places but keep the masturbation to yourself. Never get caught by masturbating in the shower. It’s the safest place because no one will barge in when you are having a shower, and even if they do, they won’t open the shower curtain so you have plenty of time to stop and wash away the evidence. Just make sure that you don’t moan and make noises. When masturbating in the shower, it;’ the easiest clean up in the world, You’re already lubricated from the water, so why not?

Shower masturbation is the best possible place, you can let go into your ultimate sexual fantasy and you don’t have to worry about a sticky clean up later. Also you can get by with water as your lube – although I recommend silicone based lubes as seen in the post below because the water won’t wash it away and it will be way slippery then water so it will feel better. Get the privacy you deserve with masturbating in the shower. No one will ever know but you!

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Oil based lubricants.

Normally you see masturbation tips that tell you what to do. This tip is to tell you what to use. The best way to feel complete sexual pleasure and to have the best friction-less glide is to use silicone or oil based lubricants.

Don’t use oils or oil based products that are not formulated specially for sex or masturbation. If you use olive oil to masturbate with, it can get into the tip and may cause infection. The same goes with the ladies, it can easily get inside the vagina and your natural lubrication can’t wash it our so it can cause infection. There are some products that are formulated for masturbation and they are oil based but these oils are sterilized and make for this type of action.

In fact, oil and silicone based lubricant are best for masturbation because they don’t dry into the skin. water based lubricants will absorb and dry out in the same fashion as hand lotion. Oil based lubes don;t absorb and they stay on the skin until you wash them off. These are the best lubricants for masturbation for you to really give yourself the best pleasure.

Other materials that are oil based like butter can be too messy and can cause an infection, so play it safe and get some silicone based lubricants for masturbating with.

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