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Advanced Masturbation Tips

September 23rd, 2010 at 3:22 pm

Against Masturbation?

If you’ve been watching Jay Leno there’s no doubt you’ve heard of the Republican Party nominee in Delaware’s 2010 U.S. Senate election, Christine O’Donnell is against masturbation. You’d think that she would be wise enough to hold this statement until AFTER the election because everyone masturbate. unless maybe Southern baptists and certain Christians may not. The older Christians probably don’t because they say that masturbation is a self-centered activity and not a God-centered activity. If you think I’m being fake and blowing smoke, then feast your eyes on this article from the sperm bank says how beneficial it is to masturbate. Science rules!

For some reason, this is a taboo topic, even though there are no disadvantages of masturbating. They say that it;s a self centered activity but really, what isn’t? Eating caviar is a self centered activity, so is eating hamburgers, especially fast food. There is nothing good about eating McDonalds but yet that’s OK from the eyes of these religious figures? How about smoking? Is that spoken out against for this reason? I think not.

As if you don’t need any more support for masturbation, here are a few pro masturbating reasons, maybe I’ll send Ms. O Donnell an email:

1.) It feels good.
So does riding a motorcycle, going on a roller coaster and taking a bubble bath.

2.) It’s natural.
If God didn’t intend for us to masturbate then he wouldn’t have made the penis and clitoris so easy to touch, it’s right there in reach. He made to too easy so therefore it’s OK.

3.) It tides you over until sex.
Sex feels good but if you don’t have a partner on hand, then you can satisfy yourself. It can also prevent STD’s when you don’t need to seek a sex partner, you can pleasure yourself. What’s wrong with that?

4.) The surge if hormones from an orgasm is a good thing.
It flushes out the body, the hormone surge is beneficial for pretty much every physiological aspect of the body. It’s a system cleanse and you’ll get all clogged up if you don’t do it.

5.) It helps your sperm count.
If you’ve ever read anything about trying to conceive you’ll see that the more you ejaculate, the higher your sperm count is. masturbate and the little guys will reproduce quicker.

I wouldn’t vote for anyone who speaks out publicly against masturbation, that tells me that you’re completely out of touch with reality and there’s no way I would ever give you power to rule the country. What kinds of out of the way old fashioned old wives tales things would you hold true and what would you do to my country? God help me I don’t want to know.

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